Theme of this Zoom meeting: Generous Praise
©2020 by Richard E. Gordon Duplication prohibited without author’s permission.
Last updated 7/12/2020
I had a wise friend tell me once: “Richard, be generous with your praise and stingy with your criticism.” Consider that advice as you respond to the following questions.
Again, in my role of moderator, I hope I have the wisdom to give everyone an equal chance to talk. So please don’t be hurt if I cut you short. I just want to spread out the sharing chances to all, especially to our more reserved participants.
Questions
1. Advice: Generous with your praise, stingy with your criticism. In your own words, explain what you think this advice means?
2. How can all of us be charitable even if we have very limited funds?
3. Is praise always good? If not always good, then explain how it can be bad?
4. Assume the praise is truthful, sincere, not exaggerated – a message from your heart and not self-serving – what effect might such praise have on the recipient? On you, the giver?
5. Why are some people stingy with praise?
6. Why are others generous?
7. Consider your own parents. When you were a child, did praise from their lips flow like a river or drip like a leaky faucet? How might their flowing praise have been a positive influence as you grew into adulthood?
8. Regarding praise, what advice would you give new parents?
9. How about if you were a teacher? a minister? a covenant group member? How then could you enrich your participation with generous but always sincere, truthful praise?
10.How can a spouse or other loving partner improve her/his relationship by being generous with praise and stingy with criticism?
11.Why are many people stingy with their praise while others are generous?
12. Can you be too overflowing with your praise?
13. How do you react to praise – even when you believe the praise is sincere, truthful? An interesting article on a related subject: Giving praise.
14. In our own zoom meetings (or in follow-up emails, text messages) can we use praise to enrich, strengthen our friendships?
15. How can generous praise be used to strengthen our UU congregation?
16. Consider this question even if you choose not to discuss it with our zoom-meeting friends: If you have adult children, do they often praise you? Do you often praise them? Can such praise – again sincere, truthful praise – improve your relationship?
17.Have you ever received a letter, email, text message that praised you? How did this expression of praise affect you? Does a note of praise have a more positive effect on you than verbal praise?
18.Tell us about a time you wrote a message of praise to a political leader? a teacher? a minister? a covenant leader? Have you written more notes of criticism than praise?
Quotes
Feel free to comment on these quotes. To view the source, just click on the underlined link in the beginning of each quote.
1. We praise a man who feels angry on the right grounds and against the right persons and also in the right manner at the right moment and for the right length of time. Aristotle
2. I will praise any man that will praise me. William Shakespeare
3. The life which men praise and regard as successful is but one kind. Why should we exaggerate any one kind at the expense of the others? Henry David Thoreau
4. Anything in any way beautiful derives its beauty from itself and asks nothing beyond itself. Praise is no part of it, for nothing is made worse or better by praise. Marcus Aurelius
5. Some are made modest by great praise, others insolent. Friedrich Nietzsche
6. The higher the sun ariseth, the less shadow doth he cast; even so the greater is the goodness, the less doth it covet praise; yet cannot avoid its rewards in honours. Lao Tzu
7. My father was a successful real estate developer, and he was a very tough man but a good man. My father would always praise me. He always thought I was the smartest person. Donald Trump
8. In doing what we ought we deserve no praise, because it is our duty. Saint Augustine
9. It is wonderful to have someone praise you, to be desired. Marilyn Monroe
10.What every genuine philosopher (every genuine man, in fact) craves most is praise although the philosophers generally call it recognition! William James